She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The air taste purple.
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