put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
