Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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