508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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