i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
