nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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