I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
