Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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