Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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