Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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