I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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