I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
