...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
