It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You are the jesus of drinking
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
