I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just want to make out with him forever
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
