He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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