Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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