There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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