So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
