i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
