I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
