True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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