My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
