I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
