when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you would pick up someone in the library
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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