Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
