He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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