these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
