yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
