Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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