Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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