how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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