He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
