If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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