Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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