ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
