the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
