just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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