i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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