I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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