I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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