I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
