The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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