Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
