I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
A+ Viking dick
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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