You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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