Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
