she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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