did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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