Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
