Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
