covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
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He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
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I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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