That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
