Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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