I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Randomize
