i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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